Kiss
Puke
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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