just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
