Whod you bang
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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