worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
