With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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