i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
