Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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