Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i've created a new STD.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
