Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
