i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
