Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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