if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
