apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
