You smell like a Billy Joel song
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
3 2 1 whiskey
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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