Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
