How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
