I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just pynch a tree in the face
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
