whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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