She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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