so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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