It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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