If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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