Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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