Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
