I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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