I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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