One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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