I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
