Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
