What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
