mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
