I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
