wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
