He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
