According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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