he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
