It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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