wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
