I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
