are you still at the devil's house?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
