guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
babies were throwing up all over the place
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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