worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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