Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
