Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
