i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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