i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
