I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
