it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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