It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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