i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
