I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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