i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
