people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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