can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
